PPGZ- Cranks A Lot
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(Opening shot: the Principle's house.)

(The phone rings, and the Principle picks it up.)

Principal♦ Uh—hello?

Ace♦ (over phone) Yeah, listen, jerk-face, you good-for-nothin' toad!

Principal♦ You can't talk to me like that!

Ace♦ (over phone) How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell you over the phone!

Principal♦ Why, I oughta—who is this? (A click and dial tone are heard.) Hello! Hello!

(Next location to the Gangreen Gang gathered around a pay phone. They are laughing over their latest prank.)

Ace♦ (to rest of Gang) What a dope!

Ivy♦ Yeah. Can you believe this guy? (She laughs.)

Little Arturo♦ Hey, Ace! Do another one.

Ivy♦ Yeah.

Ace♦ (picking up phone) All right. Let's see.

(He dials a number, and we hear the phone ringing on the other end. The screen splits to show Gigi working at a salon in the bottom right, showing Kelsey working on Emily's nails; he picks up.)

Gigi♦ (French accent) Hello? Gigi speaking.

Ace♦ Yeah, listen, do you have a full head of hair?

Gigi♦ But of course.

Ace♦ Well, if you were so bald, you would wear a turtleneck to look like a roll on deodorant. Loser!

Gigi♦ (Gasp) How dare you! Who is this!?

(He hangs up; the Gang's side expands to full screen. All five laugh for a while, after which Ace hands the receiver to Arturo. Again we hear ringing on the other end.)

Ace♦ Okay, Arturo, you're up.

Arturo♦ Okay! 'Cause, I have a good one. Shh, shh! It's ringing!

(Split-screen view again; this time the Professor appears in the other half. He picks up.)

Professor♦ Hello?

Arturo♦ Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?

Professor♦ Yes, you are.

Arturo♦ Well, then—you just won ten million dollars! (He grins.)

Professor♦ (flabbergasted) Te—ten million d—ten million dollars?! Really?! I've never won anything in my life!

Arturo♦ (laughing) Please hold.

Professor♦ Yes, I'll hold.

(The other Gang members begin to laugh, and Arturo covers the mouthpiece and shushes them. Full-screen view: Ace lifts Arturo up to the phone, and he taps the hook to break the connection. Split-screen view: the whole Gang laughs heartily at the joke, while the Professor stands at his phone, a wide smile frozen on his face. The Gang's side expands to fill the screen again, and once more Ace picks up the receiver.)

Ace♦ Okay! Who's next?

(The others clamor for a chance. After a moment, Ace gives the phone to Billy and dials.)

(Split-screen view, with Freddi at her house, in her room, reading on the other side. She picks up.)

Freddi♦ Hello? (Long silence.)

Billy♦ Hi. Uhhh…. Knock knock?...

Freddi♦ Who's there? (Long silence.)

Billy♦ Billy. (Ace claps a hand to his forehead.)

Freddi♦ Billy who? (Long silence.)

Billy♦ …… Big Billy.

Freddi♦ Hey…is this some kind of crank call? (Long silence.)

Billy♦ (panicking) Ehhh….

Freddi♦ Because, it's not a very good one.

Billy♦ (panicking) I'm sorry.

Ace♦ (grabbing phone away) Aw, come on, gimme that! (into phone) Uh…Prince Albert in the fridge! (He hangs up.)

(The Gang's side expands to full screen.)

Ace♦ That was pathetic!

Billy♦ It's not my fault, Ace! I forgot what I was gonna do! I'll try to be more funnier next time!

Ace♦ Nah, it ain't the jokes, it's the pranks. They're too small-time. We're the Gangrene Gang, for cryin' out loud! We need somethin' big. Somethin' this whole city will never forget!

(He sighs and thinks for a moment. During the next line, pull back slowly to show them gathered outside New Townsville Hall.)

Ace♦ Guys—I think I got it!

(Ace pulls out a voice disguiser out of his vest. And the others smiled)

(Inside, the Mayor is sleeping on his desk. The phone rings, the Mayor wakes up, and he picks up the phone.)

Mayor♦ Hello? (A voice is heard indistinctly over the line.) Oh! Ms. Bellum!…You need me to leave the office?

(Pan quickly to Grubber transformed as Ms. Bellum with a voice disguiser at the pay phone outside.)

Grubber♦ (Ms. Bellum's voice from the voice disguiser) Sir, we need you to cut the ribbon at the new mini-mall. (Pull back; the rest of the Gang is with him.) Hurry, Mayor. The crowd is getting restless!

Rest of Gang♦ We want to shop! We want to shop!

Grubber♦ (Ms. Bellum's voice from the voice disguiser) Hurry!

(The Mayor runs past them, carrying a huge pair of scissors. The Gang laughs at him after he has gone. Grubber changes back. Pull back to bring the entire façade of the building into view. We see them in silhouette, tiptoeing up the steps.)

Ace♦ (softly) Let's go!

(Cut to a hallway inside. Camera pans along it slightly faster than the Gang is moving and stops at the office door. Cut to inside the room; the door swings open, and the five poke their heads around the frame and gasp sharply. Pull back across the office. The hotline sits under a glass dome on the other side of the room.)

Ace, Ivy, Arturo, Billy♦ Ooooh! (Grubber groans with them.)

(Cut to the exterior of the Professor's lab in the afternoon, then to Ken, Poochi, and the girls (Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Bunny, Butterfly, and Berry) inside, looking up at the camera in surprise and worry. A dial tone is heard.)

Ken♦ Uhh. Dad?

Blossom♦ Very strange.

Buttercup♦ He's just standing there!

(Side view of them looking up at the Professor. He is still at the phone.)

Bubbles♦ Should we see if he's okay?

(Close-up of the hotline as it starts to buzz, then back to Ken, Poochi, and the girls.)

Ken♦ An emergency! The Professor will have to wait. (He runs over to the hotline and picks it up.) Hello? (Excited talking on the other end.) What's the trouble, Mayor?…Mojo Jojo is at it again?

(Cut to Grubber transformed as the Mayor, talking into the hotline with a voice disguiser in the office.)

Grubber♦ (Mayor's voice from the voice disguiser) Hurry! (He hangs up.)

(Pull back to show the Gang, gathered around the phone and laughing crazily, then cut to the exterior of the observatory.)

(The PowerPuff Girls transform)

(Zoom in and dissolve to inside Mojo's hideout. In the background, we see silhouettes of a CD player and an armchair; pop music plays, and snoring is heard over this. Zoom in on the chair, which holds a napping Mojo with a newspaper over his face. After several seconds of quiet, the girls crash in through the ceiling, jolting him awake.)

Mojo♦ Wha—?

(Buttercup start pounding on him with her hammer. From his chair, he yells at them.)

Mojo♦ What is the meaning of—

(The end of the sentence is cut off when Bunny aims her frisbee at him. Berry spins her microphone and screams into it creating a soundwave, Mojo covers his ears. The girls beat up Mojo with their weapons. Mojo crashes on the floor, leaving him looking up at the girls.)

(Mojo gets up.)

Mojo♦ Why did you do that?

Blossom♦ Don't play dumb, Mojo. We know you've got some evil plot underway!

Mojo♦ What are you talking about?

Buttercup♦ Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash New Townsville!

Mojo♦ No.

Blossom♦ No diabolical plans to destroy the world?

Mojo♦ No.

Bubbles♦ (rising shriek) Turn everyone into zombies and to scare people?

Mojo♦ Oh, for crying out loud. No! Mojo has no intention of committing any crimes. Today.

Blossom♦ Then what were you doing before we got here?

Mojo♦ Sleeping!

Bunny♦ Before that!

Mojo♦ Reading the newspaper!

Blossom♦ (deflated) Oh. (Long pause.) Well…you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!

Mojo♦ (sarcastically) Oh, goodness. Mojo better not snore!

(The girls glare angrily toward him. Cut to the exterior of the lab as they fly in, then follow them as they float down the hall.)

Butterfly♦ How embarrassing.

(They and the camera stop when they reach the Professor, still at the phone; we hear the dial tone again.)

Ken♦ How'd it go?

Bunny♦ Nothing, but a false alarm.

All♦ Huh?

(They see the Professor standing still with the phone in his hand and the frozen smile on his face. We hear the dial tone.)

Poochi♦ Professor, what are you—

(Close-up of the hotline as it begins to buzz. The girls gasp o.c.; back to them.)

Girls♦ The hotline!

Poochi♦ (to the Professor) Nevermind.

(Poochi runs to Ken and the Girls.)

Blossom♦ (Blossom picks up.) Hello? (Excited talking on the other end.) Fuzzy Lumkins has gone plumb crazy? Are you sure?…We're on our way! (She hangs up.)

(Cut to outside the house and pan quickly across the countryside as the girls take off and fly toward the forest. In the office, the Gang is laughing again. We see the girls in flight, approaching Fuzzy's shack, then a close-up of him near the bathtub in his boxers, strumming his banjo. Sitting on a log, then pull back as we hear the girls approaching fast. His eyes pop open in surprise. Back to them in flight.)

Fuzzy♦ What in tarnation?

Butterfly♦ Netter captor!

(Butterfly swings her net at Fuzzy)

Butterfly♦ Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!

(Bunny throws her frisbee in Fuzzy's face. Buttercup is ready to deck him.)

Buttercup♦ This is for anything you broke! (She hits him with her hammer.)

Blossom♦ (aims her yo-yo around Fuzzy) This is for anyone you hurt!

(Close-up of Bubbles, waving her bubble wand. She raises it over her head.)

Bubbles♦ Bouncing bubble!

(She swings; just before impact, cut back to Fuzzy. The hit knocks him beneath the surface of the water, which begins to bubble. Pull back.)

Berry♦ Uh-oh.

Buttercup♦ I think maybe he was just gonna take a bath.

Bunny♦ Fuzzy…? Um…we didn't mean to—

(Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously.)

Berry♦ (giggling) I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just going to take a bath.

Fuzzy♦ GET OFF MY LAND!

Berry♦ Sorry….

(All six giggle nervously and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed. Back to the exterior of the house as they fly in, then to Ken, Poochi, and the girls in front of the TV. In the background, the Professor is still at the phone; we hear the dial tone again.)

Buttercup♦ Strike two for the Mayor!

Ken♦ It's not like him to joke around with us like this.

Blossom♦ Yeah. First Mojo's innocent, then Fuzzy Lumkins is clean. What's next?

(Close-up of the hotline as it begins buzzing, as if to answer her question. Berry walks over and picks up.)

Berry♦ (sarcastically) Hello, Mayor. (Excited talking on the other end; her eyes pop open.) Are you sure?…Really?…Really?…Really?…Oh…Okay, we're on it. (She hangs up; pan to bring the others into view.)

Poochi♦ Let me guess… The Mayor.

Berry♦ Yes.

Buttercup♦ Is he pulling our leg again?

Berry♦ No. This time it's serious. It's—Him! (This gets a reaction.)

Butterfly♦ You mean the evilest of evil?

Buttercup♦ The cruelest of cruel?

Bunny♦ Along with Inferna?

Blossom♦ The Mayor wouldn't joke about this one. Come on! Let's go! (They take off.)

(In the office, the hotline is hung up and the Gang laughs over their latest coup.)

Arturo♦ (Chuckling) We should do this every day.

(Cut to a close-up of a TV screen, on which an aerobics instructor leads a workout.)

Instructor♦ Here we go! And squat…and up…and squat…and up.

(On the end of this, camera pulls back and turns around to show Him and Inferna, dressed in their warm-up suits. Cut to behind the TV set; he exercises his way across the screen as the program continues.)

Instructor♦ (on TV) And squat…and up. Okay, legs up, two, three…arms out…and reach…

(The girls crash in through the ceiling and brace for a fight; pull back as their expressions change to disbelief. "Him" is in the foreground, lying on his back and doing bicycle kicks.)

Instructor♦ (on TV) Kick your legs all the way around…

(Him and Inferna turn around while they exercised)

Inferna♦ Huh?

Him♦ Hello, girls. (panting) What a pleasant surprise! So, what's the occasion?

Blossom♦ Uh…we were wondering—

Him♦ (bending his arms left leg up and down) How we stay so fit? Well, now you know.

Bunny♦ Uh, no, actually, did you do anything…evil today?

Him♦ (touching toes) No, not today.

Inferna♦ (raising her right leg up and down) Hmm. Why do you ask?

Blossom♦ No reason, just wondering.

(Pull back; Him jogs around them as he speaks.)

Him♦ This figure doesn't come easy, you know. Inferna and I took a little time off to get into shape.

Blossom♦ So…you haven't been—

Him♦ Nope.

Bubbles♦ Or any of—

Him♦ Nuh-uh.

Butterfly♦ Not even a—

Inferna♦ (In a deep, scary demonic voice) No!

Blossom♦ (laughing nervously) Okay, I guess we'll see you later.

Him♦ I guess you will.

Inferna♦ You got some nerve breaking in like that.

Blossom♦ Okay. Bye, then. (She, Bunny, Berry, and Buttercup exit.)

Bubbles♦ Sorry to bother you. (She and Butterfly exit.)

Him♦ Goodbye, girls. Come back soon.

(Head-on view of him with his arms outstretched. He brings one claw back onto view, holding a telephone receiver.)

Inferna♦ (sarcastically) Yeah. Goodbye indeed.

(Quick pan to Mojo, now sitting in his chair in his hideout. He is on the phone.)

Mojo♦ All right, all right, Fuzzy, Mojo heard you the first time…I know. (The line beeps.) I kn—hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line. (He pushes a button to pick up the call.)

Him♦ Mojo! It's me. Him.

Mojo♦ (jumping out of chair) Yes, Him! What is it?

Him♦ You won't believe what just happened!

Mojo♦ (sitting down) The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?

Him♦ What?! How did you know?

Mojo♦ The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumkins. He's on the other line.

Him♦ Well, put him on!

(Mojo pushes a button on his phone, and the screen splits again to show Fuzzy.)

Fuzzy♦ Bushwhacked in my underpants!

(Inferna gets creeped out after hearing Fuzzy say that.)

Him♦ This is an outrage!

Mojo♦ You are right. We're all citizens. Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless.

Fuzzy♦ Underpants! (He sobs.)

(Inferna facepalmed herself for hearing Fuzzy say that)

Him♦ We should complain!

Mojo♦ But to who?

Inferna♦ Who else?

(Cut to the exterior of New Townsville Hall. A phone begins to ring; inside, pan slowly across the office, now trashed, and stop on the Gang asleep on and around the couch. Close-up of Billy, the ringing phone right in front of his face. He wakes up and answers it.)

Billy♦ Hello?

Him♦ We demand to speak with the Mayor!

Billy♦ He's not here right now. Can I take a message?

(Cut back and forth between Him, phone in hand, and Billy.)

Him♦ Do you know when he'll be back?

Billy♦ I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.

Him♦ Huh?!

(Inferna snags the phone from Him)

Inferna♦ You don't say. Well, to whom might we be speaking?

Billy♦ This is Billy.

Inferna♦ Billy who?

Billy♦ Big Billy from the Gangrene Gang. Who is this? (A click, then a dial tone.) Hello!

(Big Billy shrugs, hung up the phone, and falls back to sleep.)

(Pull back to bring the rest of the Gang into view. An o.c. crash shakes them awake. Cut to the door, where Fuzzy, Mojo, Him, and Inferna are now standing and looking very put out.)

Him♦ So—you guys like to make crank calls!

Inferna♦ (In a deep, scary demonic voice) Let's get 'em!

(The four villains charge at the Gang and start ripping into them. Him extends one arm towards Ace and is picked up by the throat and slammed into the ground and wall. Inferna charges right into Ivy, and kicks her to the wall. Fuzzy grabs Arturo and Grubber, then slammed them to each other's heads. Mojo beats up Big Billy.)

(The Mayor and Miss Bellum returned to the office)

Mayor♦ (mumbling to himself) Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! (He stops short and looks on in surprise.) Oh, my!

Miss Bellum♦ What is going on?

(The battle royal has moved to the center of the office, right in front of his desk. The Mayor and Miss Bellum tiptoe past and reaches to the hotline. Cut to the Professor's lab at night; Ken, Poochi, and the girls are asleep (The girls are having a sleepover at the lab). The buzzer wakes them, and Berry answers the call.)

Berry♦ (groggily) Hello?

(The fight can be heard over the line.)

Mayor♦ (over hotline) Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangrene Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumkins, Him, and Inferna are fighting right here in my office!

Berry♦ (hanging up) Yeah, right, Mayor. Very funny.

(Cut to the sleeping bags as she tucks herself back in.)

(At the office, Inferna crushes the voice disguiser with her foot. The Gangreen Gang are sitting while tied up with their hands tied behind their back, feet tied together, and tape gagged.)

Inferna♦ This better be the last time we hear those dopes making crank calls, and give us the blame.

Gangreen Gang♦ (Muffling)

(The Mayor hangs up the phone)

Mayor♦ Can someone please tell me what's going on?

Fuzzy♦ You can thank us later.

Mojo♦ But, we will be back to commit a crime, as long as (pointing at the Gangreen Gang) they don't cause us anymore trouble.

Him♦ That means we're still gonna be villains.

(Him picks up and carries (the tied up) Ace on his shoulders. Inferna picks up and carries (the tied up) Ivy on her shoulders Fuzzy drags (the tied up) Arturo and Grubber. And Mojo drags (the tied up) Billy.)

Inferna♦ So don't let us think we're gonna let them (In a deep, scary demonic voice) mess around with us again!

(Mojo, Fuzzy, Him, and Inferna leave while carrying and dragging the Gangreen Gang out of the Mayor's office.)

Ace♦ (Muffling)

(The Mayor tries to call the PowerPuff Girls to tell them everything's okay now)

(The hotline begins to buzz, waking them. They glare o.c. in its direction)

Butterfly♦ Again?

(Ken unplugs the hotline, and they all settle down again.)

All♦ Good night, Professor.

(Pan across the room to the door. Through it; we see the Professor standing in the hall—still with the phone in his hand and the frozen smile on his face. We hear the dial tone yet again.)

The End